I have an opportunity to free myself from the routine and perhaps find my calling. There’s a narrow windows of a few months and I have to take my shot. I need to apply myself, in whole to this new idea. Work in the evenings and on weekends. Follow two narratives until I can let go of one. This is all on me. I know most people would be happy to have my current role, not me.

I wish to be more gritty. I’m alright, when I care about something enough, I show grit, but other times, I have problems showing up and doing the job. I will get it done eventually if need be, but I procrastinate. I was watching some magic tricks recently, mostly card tricks. It’s fascinating how much effort and years of practice has gone into those tricks. I was thinking if you show up everyday and practice, get the work done, you’ll improve.

What is life? It’s a game, it’s mostly single player. There are NPCs that you need to collaborate, live with and protect. They help you to unlock new quests and hidden contents. But remember it’s single player game. And a game. Don’t take it too seriously. There’s no ultimate goal. A bigger divine plan or an after-life ( a sequel?). Most importantly you have one life, use it wisely. Make the most out of it, don’t get hung up being the average Joe.

It’s Monday, more precisely it’s the second Monday of the year. I’m demotivated as it’s the last week of the year. Even though I’ve made my decision to look for other opportunity still I wish I was more motivated. I somehow feel it’s just my excuse to be a bit more lazy. I’m kind of hoping that I’ll recover after I rest! Well I’m still tired of eating all those amazing food during the holidays.

Ownership, I love to have stuff, well certain kinds of stuff. But at the same time I live in a small rental apartment, the trouble is I don’t even know in 6 months, in which city or even country I would be living and that terrifies me. How could I move all this junk? You get the idea, a few weeks back I was finally processing the last moving boxes from 10 months ago!